I am so excited to take the Passionate Ink Workshop about D/s relationships taught by Dauntless Vitality. I started following him on tumblr and was blown away by his post “Because He Said So…?” For my fellow authors I encourage you to sign up for his workshop offered through Passionate Ink online – it starts June 4th and will give you insight into the relationships of your characters – as well as being fun:)
Reposted from DVsarousal on tumblr.com
Because He Said So…?
I have seen pictures and groups of pictures on tumblr, and other places for that matter, that are D/s and M/s and BDSM related with the words “Because He said So”. I will say that I do adhere to this mantra, but there are some caveats to this as well.
For the uninformed, uneducated, and ignorant people of this world, it’s these caveats that hold the true meaning behind these words. This is not a blanket statement, right, or entitlement that gives an alleged Master/Dom the right to demand anything he wants, expect it to be done or carried out, and then get mad when it doesn’t happen. Listen to this very carefully…You are not entitled to a single thing just because you call yourself a Master or a Dom. You don’t automatically have the right to expect anything just “Because You Said So” because you have proclaimed yourself as having a title.
So what does it mean when you hear “Because He Said So…”?
It means the sub/slave has given him that right and authority over her.
It means she has consented this power to such a person.
It’s because she sees and feels him as worthy of such power and control.
It’s because he has earned the right to be able to be that way with her.
It’s because he has earned her respect in the Dominant position h has with her.
It’s because he has put in the time, effort and work to get t that point with her.
For me personally, when I see those words it’s not just those words alone that resonate with me. It’s the entire dynamic of the power exchange relationship, all it takes and all the two of you have gone through together to reach a place where “Because He Said So…” is a reality and has true depth and meaning. It is a very special feeling and place to be when you reach this together. But it is not something that you can instantly demand and expect.
Earn your place with her. Put in the time and effort she deserves. Earn your title with her, because she feels it and bestows it upon you, not because you hereby declare it for yourself. Anyone can call themselves whatever they like. Having someone else see you as that person and give themselves to you as that person in your life… that is the true blessing. You don’t have a right and aren’t entitled to anything. You do have the right to earn what you want and strive to achieve your goals.
When the title as her Master or Dominant has been earned, and she sees you as worthy of that position over her, that is much more gratifying and fulfills a level of accomplishment than anything ever demanded without effort. And when you get that from her, that is when you can truly say… “Because I Said So…”!