Nudist On Strike #FlashFictionFriday

Halloween brought out the worst in people, he mused as a woman in a black bikini and cat ears batted her eyelashes in his direction.  Disgusted, he put a twenty on the bar and headed toward the door.  His hand reached for the door at the same time as hers.  The only woman fully dressed at the bar.

“What are you supposed to be?”  His deep voice rumbled.  She pointed to her pink t-shirt, “Nudist on Strike” was stenciled on the front.

He threw his head back and laughed.  “My name is Sawyer, and I really like your costume.”

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Sweater Weather #FlashFictionFriday

Her cheeks were pink, her nose red and running.  She sniffled against the back of her glove and grinned stupidly.

“Why are you so happy?” Bridgette grumbled.

“It’s sweater weather!”  Becca danced in a circle and pulled at the frumpy shape that laid across her frame, it was a kaleidoscope of browns and greens and a god-awful yellow color that only came in yarn.

“And that’s a good thing because?”

Becca nudged her and pointed her nose toward their neighbor.  She caught sight of Katrina, who just last week brought her garbage down wearing a bikini top and booty shorts.  Today, Katrina was smartly dressed in knee high boots, leggings, and a chunky tunic sweater.  Career Barbie would like to look that good.

Becca whispered, “Now we finally have a chance with the hottie in 2B.”

“Mmm.”  Bridgette mumbled and wondered if it was possible to have too much self-esteem…

The Rain

I love the sound of rain when I am inside. The way it beats against the skylights is hypnotic.  I love how the light changes, seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere.  When I’m inside…

When I’m outside, it’s my enemy, turning my clothes into a claustrophobic restraint, my hair into, well, it’s not pretty.  And my shoes…  No one should have to wear rubber boots, and yet no pump should die from water torture.

Winter is coming… #WTFWednesdays

Winter is coming…

And with winter comes really bad commercials about purchasing expensive and unnecessary presents.  (Although I really do want the Red Rider BB gun with the compass in the stock and the thingy that tells time.)  Walking into my favorite store to purchase copious amounts of fun-sized candy I had to pass by the Christmas decorations to find the Halloween decorations.  Sheesh.  They don’t have “Thanksgiving” decorations out yet, I suppose they’ll take the place of the Halloween stuff once it’s consolidated on the clearance aisle.

Anyway, since I’m doing ManCandyMondays and FlashFictionFridays I thought I’d do WTFWednesdays.  Today’s WTF is regarding the commercials targeted to women encouraging us to purchase personal grooming (nose trimmers) for our significant male partner.  It’s a personal groomer.  Personal… as in buy for yourself.  So just because my husband’s eyebrows are long enough for a comb-over, I would NEVER purchase something that personal.  I love my husband, Brezhnev eyebrows and all.

WTF?  Do marketing people really think this through?  They should be targeting men.  Women already shave too many bits as it is.  Marketers must believe our self-depilating tendencies will translate to ridding our partners, our children, heck, even the dog of extraneous hair.  I’m not saying it isn’t a fine product or that people don’t need to shave their nose hair because we’ve all been there, talking to someone but our eyes are trained to the nasal follicular monstrosity that waves in front of us.  I’m simply suggesting that a personal nose trimmer would not be a reasonable or wanted holiday gift to a loved one.  Maybe the office gag gift… but I still prefer Chia pets. ­­