Everything you need for #Superbowl2016

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If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you just got sucked into either attending or hosting a Superbowl party. Fear not, my friend, I have your back. First, for those clueless, here’s the Superbowl info you might need to know.

I have hostess tips numbered below. Guaranteed, one run to your local grocery store, a phone call, and you’ll be set for the party everyone will be talking about for years to come. Hopefully in a good way.

If you are attending a party, simply pick something from tips 1 or 3 to bring. Note the or, bringing TP is socially awkward even among the closest of friends.

  1. Fluids… purchase a wide variety. I personally prefer Blue Moon as a beer, but I also am a chick… so you might want to buy a couple of six packs of Yuengling lager, just in case. Box wine because you’re not a freakin’ Rockefeller and wine is expensive. Hell, the beer has already set you back a Jackson or two. Water, preferably bottled so people don’t make you have to do dishes later and it’s definitely classier than tap water in a red Solo cup. Soda… hell no, you’ve already spent too much on beer and wine. Besides, carbonated fluids leach the calcium from your bones. You’re saving your guests from osteoporosis in their later years.
  2. Toilet paper… seriously if you’re providing fluids, now is a REALLY bad time to be low on TP. People get creative and flush things that shouldn’t be flushed. (I’m really sorry about that, Jess.)
  3. Finger foods… Dude, if you’re reading this now, you’re screwed. EVERY DELI TRAY IS SOLD OUT. Never fear, before you fall down the rabbit hole of Pinterest, use my catering guide divided into different price ranges.
    1. For those of you with bucks to spare…
      • buy more alcohol, seriously, who needs food when there’s free booze? Tequila every time Manning yells Omaha might be overboard, but it could be fun.
      • cater a la Papa Johns. Seven toppings for $9.99 – ya can’t go wrong. Use coupon code byopizza AND they deliver, just order through www.papajohns.com.
      • get wings through papajohns, because the grocery store will be out, and they’re good.
      • from your local grocery store, pick up the bag of baby carrots and celery, and blue cheese dressing.
      • Still have cash to burn? Hit the chip aisle and see if there’s still cheese dip and salsa available, pick up a few bags of chips to go with it.
      • Feeling super rich? Cheetos. Nothing says you’ve got money to burn than orange fingers.
    2. For those of you on a budget…
      • Little Caesars drive through, make sure you get the seasoning packets. Plate it on a fancy plate and just tell your friends you’re trying a new recipe from Pinterest.
      • A box of Ritz, a bag of shredded cheese, your oven… Lay out the crackers on a foiled-covered cookie sheet, cover with cheese, heat until melted, put on a pretty plate. Cheap and tasty. DO NOT MICROWAVE CRACKERS… that’s so college:(
      • A bag of washed grapes in a pretty bowl.
      • A bag of Doritos.
      • Ice. What? Ice can be fancy…
    3. For those of you with no discretionary spending…
      • Make it a potluck, duh!
  4. If you are like me, it’s all about the commercials.
    1. The best of all time can be found here. It’s someone else’s list, not mine… but still it’s not bad.
    2. Budweiser nailed it this year with the AMAZING Helen Mirren.

Doritos has a freakin’ awesome commercial too.

 

I was SO incredibly fortunate to work for an advertising agency an eon ago and my wonderful boss, Dave Carlick, brought us all to the Clio awards. You ABSOLUTELY must search for the winners on youtube and google. They are the BEST commercials – seriously – the very best. This is one of the winners from last year and OMG! YAAAAAAS!

In between the action and Omaha and commercials, download Her Lucky Number and enjoy a sexy romance between Matt Coleman and Cami on Amazon. It’ll definitely keep a smile on your face:)

 

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