I can’t fix everything in the world. In fact, there’s a lot I have no control over. Instead of getting anxious over things I can’t fix, I practice “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson.
And I give a f*ck about the Tony Robbin’s #MeToo faux-pas.
Tony Robbins gave his “Unleash the Power Within” talk in San Jose (where I grew up) to a crowd and when Nanine McCool suggested he was doing disservice to the #MeToo movement by mischaracterizing it. He disagreed, and then used intimidating body posture and explained why she was wrong. You can see the full video below.
Later, on Facebook he issued an apology:
His apology bothers me. And I give a f*ck.
If you require a testosterone-reeking life coach to get you out of bed, please consider therapy. You might even have issues with your brain chemistry and require medication. If your company is failing because of non-motivated workers, hire a manager. Don’t reward your best sales person by putting them in management, put your best people-person in management. And for God’s sake, don’t hire Tony Robbins.
If Tony Robbins has changed your life by revealing a truth you needed to hear, I’m happy for you. To me, the guy is a white dude selling psychological crap you can get at the library for free. If your life has been changed for the positive by Tony Robbins, that’s wonderful. But understand that his message may have worked for you, but it may not work for everyone, and not because they’re not trying.
If you’ve ever wondered what white privilege looks like, watch the video. He reveals white privilege in real time. The man has made his money espousing psychological advice from the position of a white male. He sounds totally oblivious that other people have obstacles. It’s like he can’t conceive of a world where being positive, working hard, refusing to be a victim doesn’t get you what you want. Because that’s his experience, and clearly, the only one that matters. But if he admitted other people may have different experiences, his one-size-fits-all approach wouldn’t work.
During his rant he says he’s read thousands of stories about #MeToo, but he read them from the perspective of a white privileged male. He believes you can choose to not be a victim. His entire fortune is built on the belief that if you “speak it” you can “be it” bullshit. Look up neuro-linguistic programming, which forms the basis of his motivational speeches. (And it sounds very much like The Music Man Think Theory.)
This is a problem for me. I’ve been very fortunate in my life and I’m outgoing and sarcastic, and usually nice, so while people may have done stupid things to me in the past, I called them on it and we moved on. But I was privileged. I could quit. I had family that would support me. What if I hadn’t? And that’s why I’m so freaking pissed that Tony Robbins thinks his apology is enough.
It’s really not. He is selling a product and it’s one-size-fits-all solution is not universal. And he’s still not admitting it. Maybe he really is clueless. And maybe being worth nearly half-billion dollars means you’ve lost touched with the average person.
Whatever the case, his “LIFE HAPPENS FOR YOU, NOT TO YOU,” is white privilege bullshit.
It doesn’t work for the school girls abducted by Boko Haram. Or those enjoying “camping out” in refugee camps all over Africa. Or children born into households where their care-givers are opioid-addicted. A pep-talk from Tony will probably not cure your PTSD.
A pep-talk for Tony might work very well for those already living in a first-world country with access to education, health-care, clean drinking water and food. And white. As Tony says, “You don’t have to agree with me but consider what it’s impact is. Look at these people and see what is empowerment. Anger is not empowerment.” No, but education is, and Tony needs some schooling. And “these people” are humans who have been sexually and emotionally abused.
You want a life coach? Try the Dalai Lama. Try a psychotherapist. Try anyone that actually has studied psychology and uses a scientifically proven method to help you.
Finally, is it just me or does “Unleashing The Power Within” sound like a great name for an anti-flatulence product?